There are many bad things at this moment in time. A whole, whole lot! Many!
Sometimes coping looks like silencing pain for a bit, and sometimes it means feeling it. I’m trying very hard to keep feeling it- to remember that pain protects us and is a sign of full and good functionality. that pain is a valid and warranted alarm, to say there is a problem.
There are many problems. It’s horrible to realize, also, how little control we actually have. I think it’s important to let that realization guide us toward focusing on what we can do, rather than following it to despair, and it’s also ok to grieve and even get angry about our smallness.
I think most of us look to our values when in times of great stress. Human connection, our shared experiences- shared together and shared “alone”- that’s something I come back to to anchor me- to remember how much we all need each other, and also how similar we are to each other (while unique, enneagram 4s, yes).
There are many other things but for me, everything points back to connection. I used to think of ” love” being the center of all things- and, it is- but what is love? The train runs off the tracks and this paragraph explodes and some parts land on altruism, some on God, some on “what you think is best for others,” some on “what others think is best for them,” maybe some on Jesus, some on being willing to die for others, or any other number of things that it’s tempting to try to joke about, but this is serious. What is actual love, if not connection that persists? “Seeing” someone that persists? We can call it “showing up,” all kinds of words that overcomplicate with the addition of presumptive actions of proof, but… anyway I’m thinking about that right now.
I really think love is the natural thing that will happen when people see each other- ie the point of AFS (American Field Service) foreign exchange. Like magnets that have their electrons line up, people start to work together when they get close enough to see each other.
I’ve been away for a while, and am going to try writing in part because it adds to my sense of connectedness. I do think it all counts- everything we create does. We help each other feel seen, sometimes, even after we’re gone. I can think of many people (artists, especially), who’ve done that for me. All connection matters- social, in person, virtual, parasocial, lurkery (a fave of mine), and at all times of paths crossing.
I’m trying to be careful not to imply greater connection than a medium warrants, due to the potential for people to feel manipulated (ie when you feel intimate with someone who doesn’t know you). However, in an appropriately-vague way- sending you love.
If you’re alive right now, it’s nice to be on the same planet. So many things suck!
