Just thought I’d write about what’s on my mind today. I realized this week that the 80s were 50 years ago, and no, I’m not ok. Who decided to allow time to pass like this?
I’m listening to Relient K because this is what I do
I’m thinking about a bunch of people who I’ve noticed who are suffering. There’s this girl I found on Instagram who’s dying of cancer and she’s just a kid, and it’s horrible. She’s @briestrongerthancancer – people are still sending her messages of love.
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What’s so important as chaos happens (ie w government) is to stay calm, because the only way people who seek to terrorize win is when they successfully scare you. I’ve had a bunch of experiences that, initially, terrorized the shit out of me. I learned over time to focus on data- what I knew, and what I could/could not do about it. It provides a path through those dark days. I recommend it to anyone struggling right now with the reality of everything. What is actually true, and what can you/ can’t you do? Make a list. It’s ok to be a limited person. It’s much better to be a functional, limited person, who has emotions working for them, than to imagine all of the the things one might do, and consume guilt-trippy information. Even though well-intentioned, guilt-trippy information only adds fuel to the fire. What happens when Godzilla walks through a city, and no one runs, but just, steps to the side so he can make it to…. Godzillina on the other side? There are some broken buildings maybe. I’m a little bit embarrassed that I just wrote that. I probably should not post this.
However it is natural and right to feel frantic when there is terror. I once had someone tell me that, when faced with terrifying things, that I had done something wrong by “being afraid” the wrong way. That I’d insufficiently managed my fear. That is abusive bs.
So. Panic. Then get out a physical piece of paper, and write a list of what you actually can and cannot do, and do not read any sources of guilt-trips. Consider what does make a difference, and what doesn’t. Set timers for how long you spend on different tasks. Look places that will get you emotionally flooded only in conscious doses; it makes you feel more in control of the flooding and like you chose it, and less like it happened to you by accident and is now an emergency.
I preach these strategies to myself regularly, just so you know. I’m no expert. They are little life rafts that I return to time and again when I need them. And I do need them just like everyone else does.
The other things I just wanted to share for people who might need little life rafts:
- gratitude journal. make a quick list in the morning if you think of it. It helps with reframing
- go on the stupid mental health walk
Sending you love in whatever you are facing.
