Catharine Gentleness is one of the most difficult postures to have, I think, in a world that likes cut and dry, over-simplicity, immediate results, and is impatient with process and journey. Gentleness is a way of approaching oneself and others with acceptance and curiosity that is not rushed, is not judgmental, is not demanding, is simply bearing witness. It can be part of action, too, that is beyond bearing witness, but it seems to pervade the action.
Cats know gentleness like the smell of bacon. I don’t know. Am I right or wrong about this? I feel like it may be one of the main qualities that makes someone a “cat person”- you know, the one who walks in the room and is suddenly one with all cats in the vicinity. Maybe it’s because cats have a respectfulness to their aura, in a way, that also will happily sit on top of whatever work you were planning to do, and get right up in your face, but they consider the situation first before taking up residence.
What is that?
Are dogs gentle? Friendly. Exuberant. I’m sure they can also be gentle, but… idk. They don’t have this same posture that I’m trying to describe.
I’ve seen fearfulness, sometimes, masquerade as gentleness. People who cower and look down, to try to not offend, but are simultaneously ready to judge, ready to attack, with their lowered voice. I’ve seen “speaking the truth in love” as “pointed dagger with a gentle sounding tone” that is not actually.. good. I’ve seen it in male leaders in religion, often, I’ve felt it personally at times. I’ve seen parents reach for it when they’re going to spank their child, and say “this is going to hurt me more than it hurts you.”
That false gentleness is worse than simple anger/attack.
My heart yearns for a world in which we all, at least in some ways, act like cats. I realize this is somewhat odd. I mean it, though.
Friendly cats, at least. Sometimes cats hide. I’m just thinking about that attitude, of respectful consideration, that isn’t masking violence, but is communicating “it’s ok.” And it actually is ok. Not the fake, put-on gentleness of leaders who want to rally others towards hate or extremism using a quiet voice, but gentleness that is communicating safety due to the existence of safety. Like a mother coaxes her young because she is there. The tone that says she is there because she is. I want to think about that quality, that posture, in the way I treat others and also the way I treat myself.
In some ways, starting with self is crucial to ever having hope of treating someone else with any given posture.
How can you treat yourself with gentleness? The real kind, not the fake kind that masks judgment? How can we extend it to each other?
