Hi. Drinking green tea again today.
I read a post this week in the NYTimes that I thought was excellent. It’s “ The Best Advice I’ve Ever Heard for How To Be Happy” by Jancee Dunn. Here is a (paywall-free) link to it.
(In all life-coping strategies, I think it’s important to simultaneously hold space for grief- for the possibility of multiple things being true at once, to prevent positivity from becoming “toxic.” Life is a whole lot of both-ands, not either-ors. Also it’s important for there to be self-acceptance of all emotional states, so that judgment doesn’t enter the mental dialogue.)
(I also personally reframe it as “life-coping” rather than “happiness,” since “happiness has a whole lot of baggage that comes along with it, implying an achievement or end-state. Just my two cents).
I really like the advice she writes about to “cherish the everyday,” and the reframing of “I have to” tasks with “I get to.”
I also really like the concept of creating an “emotional first-aid kit.” I’ve kept a folder for a few years now where I keep screenshots of pleasant moments I’ve shared with people online, or messages from people that were meaningful. It might be neat to extend that. What would you put in an “emotional first-kit?” What comfort items would be there?
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The comment section is a treasure trove.
I especially loved this one:
and this one:
and these:
I also thought this had a neat idea, especially in the first tip.
What buoys you?
Some of the things I’ve found that buoy me, personally, are listening to and playing music, chatting with friends, reading, cooking, journaling/writing, reminding myself what I’m grateful for, and re-focusing my attention on others who are suffering. We’re all suffering in different ways, and we can suffer together. Setting boundaries is another key thing, I think, too, for me, when it comes to caring for myself.
