catharine This probably will seem a bit overkill. It was just kind of interesting to me.
I was watching an asmr video of a channel I like where the woman who makes the channel wears fake fingernails, lots of makeup, etc. I’ve always found that kind of thing extremely calming to watch. Like. The perfection of it… is super super soothing.
I enjoy painting my own nails, and cut my own hair (now allergy-related… I didn’t always. anyway. I also started cutting my kids’ hair during covid and haven’t looked back). I don’t tend to do a whole lot of the “fancy stuff.” You know? Like the fancy stuff. I never have. I think I’ve had one pedicure since I got married. I like grooming, but not…. putting on a mask. I dunno.
I enjoy wearing a small amount of makeup, sometimes. Like, it feels artistic, and it’s fun. I enjoy basic nail art. I have to feel like it’s “me” or it freaks me out, though. Like. Like I can’t always wear nail polish, or always… always do anything. Or I feel like I’m hiding (and what I do wear has to be somewhat minimal- super super minimal- or I look ridiculous to myself).
Anyway while I was watching this video I was super super calm and then was suddenly terrified. I think it’s because I was relaxing and suddenly viewed this person the way my sons might someday, or any other person would- especially a straight man. Just. Anyone.
Anyway what I realized is how terrifying it must be at some level for people who are interested in women to navigate a world in which most women are under masks. I’m not saying it’s bad. There is no judgment here. Just noting… the fact that people are being hidden, and it’s a social norm for them to be hidden, so they have to, to fit into the social norm.
It’s most of the reason why I wear makeup when I do- culture. And more and more men and others are wearing makeup now too….. this isn’t a women-only thing.
I guess what I’m trying to say is I can understand something I’ve noticed in alt-right trad super “masculinity”-obsessed paranoid circles where women are made to be the enemy- it’s a trigger for that paranoia. I think that makeup and facades might sometimes be part of the overall picture of a trigger for that paranoia- that women are out to get men, that women are only superficial, that women are… not people. That women are scary. It was like I connected with a “how would a kid see her?” view for half a second, and felt this way.
Men are scary too. Suits freak me out a little bit, while I also really like them. The reason they freak me out is because they signify power and I’ve associated them with people who lie. But I also like them because of some of the same reasons. Do people feel the same way about makeup? That the power that comes with it is nice, but the fear of a lie is not?
??
THOUGHTS
